How to Be a Power Couple, Working with Your Spouse
Most would say that a book in the Bible called Ephesians and the fifth chapter is considered the greatest treatise in the New Testament on marriage and the summary of it is “A husband must love his wife and a wife must respect her husband”. If you get this, you are going to be okay in your marriage. You might have troubles at times but ultimately you are gonna be okay.
There is something called the crazy cycle. When a wife feels unloved, she tends to react in a way that feels disrespectful to her husband. And when men feel disrespected, they tend to react in a way that feels unloving to their wives. This creates the crazy cycle. Without love, she reacts disrespectfully, without respect he reacts without love, and so on. This causes couples of goodwill to fall into a trap.
When a fight ensues between a man and a woman, there are things that can be done to deescalate the situation. As a man, you should be sensible enough to understand that when you think she is being disrespectful, she may not actually be picking a fight. She may be looking to connect or she may be confronting you because she is feeling insecure and needs reassurance.
Researchers have studied what happens to a man’s body and a woman’s body as they enter into the crazy cycle. A man’s heart starts beating very fast and he enters a warrior mode while a woman’s heart doesn’t beat faster than normal. This shows that the onus is on the men to calm down first and deescalate the situation.
All you have to do as a man to do that is to say that you’re sorry but it has to be genuine. You could say that you’re sorry for appearing unloving and ask for a small timeout so that you can calm down a little and revisit this in a short while. If the woman senses sincerity, she will immediately soften up. In fact, she will say that she’s sorry and she shouldn’t have said all that.
Working With Your Spouse
Working with your significant other can be a good thing but it can also accelerate a lot of arguments and escalate a situation to unmanageable levels. That’s why it’s important to learn to work together in a healthy manner.
There are two key things that you have to understand here.
The first is the actual issue on the table and the second is the crazy cycle. When there are differences of opinion on something, which will inevitably happen, it is easy to fall into the trap of the crazy cycle. When that happens, both men and women need to discern immediately that it is happening and deal with it first. Only then can the actual issue be handled properly just like any other two shrewd business people. Otherwise, you will end up wasting your whole time.